The Post About Not Posting
I have been wanting to write something for so long. I keep posting videos from youtube.com like they are going out of style. (Hey...there is some funny sh*t out there) So tonight I sat down in front of the SCP Nation (My computer's name) and wanted to write something for my blog. Something thoughtful, something catchy, something f*cking AWESOME! I felt like a pastor again. Trying to be clever. Trying to win over my audience with my slick agenda. I couldn't think of anything.
So I searched for some "related" news. Blah. Nothing worth "complaining" about. Then it hit me .... The not wanting to blog ... was the blog.
I have not posted anything for a long time because I do not care. Stupid Church People will always be f*cking stupid! It is the nature of the beast.
Church isn't relevant to me anymore. Which is weird since I grew up in the church. I devoted my life to the church. Now I have no ties with a church. When I have visited churches in the past couple months, I feel like the outsider that doesn't understand. The friendly greeting is fake and the donuts don't entice me. Church is dead to me ... or ... I am just dead to church.
Then I start questioning everything. What do I BELIEVE? DA DA DAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! F*CK!!! Does it matter? Well, it does eternally speaking, right? I MIGHT GO TO HELL!!!! I WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN!!!! BUT .... BUT.... F*CK!!!! Wait!!! I can't say F*CK!!!! Oh SH*T!!!! I mean DAMN!!!! Is that word okay? God, I hope!!!! F*CK, I just used god's name in VAIN!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK ... All joking aside. Right now I am listening to some good [seriously] "worship" music. I feel ssssssooooooooo good. But that is what our modern christianity is all about...right? Feeling good.
When I was a pastor, I used to tell kids that all I wanted was truth. Whatever that looked like. Now that I have learned that truth is a fabrication of the church, I now want reality. Reality is a broken church. Reality is a broken pastor. Reality is you ... broken.
So after trying to figure out what to write about .... here you go .... a lot of nothing. I still want change in the church but more importantly I want change in you and me.
Billy...
From: tmz.com
Rev. Billy Graham's cover photo for Time magazine is innocent enough in and of itself -- but when you look at it superimposed over the Time logo, it looks like someone drew devil's horns on him. Say your prayers!
The cover article, headlined "The Pastor In Chief," focuses on his "intense private and public relationships with every President going back to Harry Truman." The article does not mention, however, how Graham once said he thinks AIDS is a judgment of God.
Perhaps this cover is someone's judgment of him?
